Updated: Sep 8, 2022
"Getting comfortable with the uncomfortable" and I know if you are anything like me, you're thinking why I should/would ever want to purposefully make myself feel uncomfortable. Especially when I already feel safe and comfortable doing the things I'm doing now. Seriously though just stop and take an inventory of your life, what does your day to day look like?
This is how my "comfortable" looked like.
I am Working my corporate job so I can have a steady paycheck with benefits. I am able to have a roof over my head with plenty of tv streaming networks to get lost in after my long days working for the big man. Ordering take-out or stopping at the closest fast-food spot because I don't have time to cook or clean the dishes. Instead with that time I would be scrolling on social media putting myself down for how amazing old friends' or even random strangers' lives are. Seeing them start families, going on amazing trips around the world, having brand new houses, posting their home cooked meals and having amazing bodies....
Now wait, just wait, are you hearing me? am I actually hearing myself!?! So that all sounds comfortable and safe to me?
Making someone else even richer because I am putting all of my energy into their dreams?
Having little to no energy left after working so I am putting more draining toxins into my body?
Spending my free time in front of the screen, comparing lives and becoming more anxious by the minute?
Staying put in one place rather than going out and seeing the world?
Putting myself in a box. I clearly don't want to be in this box so why am I staying?
Because that is what we have learned to believe is comfortable.
Reflecting on my childhood I was always told, "You need to have a stable job so you can have a house and pay bills. But only certain jobs are stable jobs so those dreams you were thinking about will be very, very hard to actually become successful in" Okay maybe it wasn't said like that word for word, but you get the idea. Also, I need to add I'm definitely not trying to put the blame on parents either they just have always know that way of living and was taught the same thing. They truly just wanted what they thought would be the best for me.
I now need to show up for myself and take ownership of my own life and know damn... I really can do and have whatever I want. I am the one putting myself in a box. I am the one not utilizing my time for my highest good and I am not living up to my Darma (life purpose) because I stopped listening to my own intuition and was looking for others to help hold my hand through life.
So, recognizing this is truly the first step.
Next realizing that I need to start doing those things that are out of my current norm. Doing things out of your normal routine is what creates that feeling of being uncomfortable.
Its uncomfortable to look at all the time that's went by with me being stuck in autopilot mode.
Its super easy to start attacking yourself now with the newfound truth that I had control over my life this whole time, and I don't have much to show for it. So that's when the "Oh my hells" start and "I should have, could have, would have's" begin.
Hey, stop the self-judging and give yourself some love! You were doing the best you could in that moment with the tools you had but your now awakened to the endless possibilities and in order to truly strive in that you need to show yourself some tenderness, for you are amazing and you deserve to have your dreams come true.
Place your hand on your heart and say,
"I deserve to have my dreams come true."
"I am more than capable of achieving my dreams."
"I am worthy of success."
"I am enough."
Okay great now that we have got that out of the way let's get back to it.
So now what?
We dig deep and start asking ourselves questions. I have found that asking these questions in a journal have really helped me sort through my thoughts.
Think of a time when you felt uncomfortable... could be a big moment or a smaller moment.
etc. during a yoga session, I started to feel emotional, and I then felt shame for having to stop in the middle of my session and curled up in a ball called "child's position" and just cry.
When you got uncomfortable, how did you react in that situation?
etc. shut down, distractions, take it out on loved one, try to take control of the situation, comfort food... for me during my yoga session I shut down and then started the self-judgment "come on your just doing yoga stop being a baby." this only took me into a spin and then came the comfort food and distractions(tv) to follow.
When you felt uncomfortable, where did you feel it in your body?
etc. heaviness in chest, throat closed up, headache, upset stomach... during my session my core was shaking, and I felt nauseous.
Did that feeling bring up anything similar that has happened in the past?
etc. I felt emotional during a softball game as a child, and I cried and the coached called me "cry baby" those feelings I felt during my yoga session where the same as how I felt as a child. I also realized me calling myself a "cry baby" was because someone else had once said it to me.
(If you can't think of a similar experience that is totally okay move onto the next prompt.)
What emotions come up while thinking about being uncomfortable?
etc. sadness, shame, scared, anxious, uncomfortable. For me I felt fear of letting someone down because I couldn't control my emotions (crying, anxious) and in the yoga session that someone happened to be me whereas in the past with softball it would be my coach and whole team.
What thoughts were you thinking while you were uncomfortable?
etc. "I'm scared," "I can't do this," "I'm not enough," "This isn't fair," for me during yoga I was thinking that I wasn't strong enough and that I will always let my emotions run my world because I am an emotion person and that's just how it is.
Now question that thought you just had!
etc. Am I an emotional person or do I just have emotions? Are my thoughts facts? Do I really believe that I am not strong?
Whose thoughts are these really?
etc. spouse, teacher, doctor, from my experience a parent figure has always told me that I am an emotional person, so I took that on as a core belief of mine. That softball coach was the one calling me a cry baby putting that thought there that I choose to believe.
Our thoughts are just thoughts they are not facts!!!
Close off your journal prompt with. "Even though (insert) made me feel uncomfortable, I know that I was taking on someone else's belief or a past feeling that I got comfortable with feeling. I know that I am not my thoughts, and I am safe to have my feelings. I also know that I am capable of rewriting my core beliefs and I am safe to be in the uncomfortable, that is where I will learn about by shadow side so I can heal and discover my true highest self.
The reason why we want to identify how were feeling in our bodies and emotions is so that when those same emotions come up, we can hopefully realize in the moment or shortly after that we are going through another uncomfortable moment. So rather than going into old routines of shutting down or whatever your go to maybe, we can then begin to reprogram our beliefs by choosing differently by choosing to listen and process those thoughts with tools like the journaling prompts, meditating, movement, or even stillness. (You will find on your journey what works best for you; how? by trying them all.) When we are able to dive inward, we can then choose happiness; ask "what will make me truly happy in this moment?" taking a bath, reading a book, going on a walk with your dog...
Letting ourselves feel the uncomfortable will teach us so much about ourselves and that's where growth begins. This is also where we figure out our life purpose by digging into the past traumas and really having that self-healing journey inspire us. This will put us in motion to getting ourselves outside of that box that we put ourselves in. The world is in your hands you always have choices, always.
So, stop and let yourself feel uncomfortable because you will learn sooooo, so much from it and pretty soon you will see that you're really not passionate about your 9-5 or that tv show that you have been binge watching, but you are passionate about so many other things in life that light you up and get you motivated to have that dream life you really want, that loving home cooked meal, that healthy body; you love to look at in the mirror, and that dream career.
Place your left hand on your heart, and your right hand on your stomach; repeat each mantra.
I trust in the universal timing that everything is happening for me and not agents me.
I am more than enough
I am safe in the uncomfortable to feel my feelings and choose another light.
I am Ever Evolving towards my Highest Self.
Take your time on this journey always know that things can feel worse before they get better when we are bringing up the past if you feel like you need help, please know there are always resources and help out there. BetterHelp is a great way to afford counseling if you need help.
and so, it is.
Disclosure: I am not a certified therapist or counselor. These are tools and tricks that have helped me on my journey. Even though they have helped me on my journey doesn't mean they are guaranteed to help you on yours. If doing these activities activate strong emotions or bring up trauma that you're unable to deal with on your own, please reach out to a professional for help. I am truly wanting nothing but kind, light, loving energy for you so you can function in life feeling your best.