Updated: Nov 23, 2022
I was once told by somebody, “Your feelings are valid.” But this wasn’t coming from a loving place it was said in a sarcastic tone with an eye roll. For an emotional thinker this reaction can feel so hurtful in the moment with thoughts of, "How could they act that way or be so mean." " They know that I am sensitive." and so on. Only really creating more emotions and a disconnect from that person. Both not feeling understood.
I realized after the fact that of course it’s hard for them to sympathize or even comprehend how an emotional person feels if they themselves are leaning more towards the logical thinker side. Feelings/emotions can feel overwhelming or even like an inconvenience to a logical thinker. This isn’t because they are “mean” it’s really just how they have been taught to process their own emotions/feelings. Usually, it’s not by processing them at all but by moving past them. This can lead to suppressed emotions= uncompassionate comments or reactions.
Whereas the emotional thinker can sometimes get so over the top in the dramatics that they aren’t able to process their feelings either. Also creating blocks and not able or even being willing to understand the other persons point of view.
So where is the balance?
First it starts with recognizing.
“Am I being emotional or a logical thinker?”
Knowing that I am more of an emotional thinker I asked myself more questions as to why? For me I discovered it was learned and I was born with certain characteristics. (Learned this in my Birth Chart Readings) Birth Chart Reading | Ever Evolving Kate I believe just because we are born one way doesn’t mean we have too always continue to be that way. This is why there is low/high octaves or energies; we can choose to live in the higher. This isn’t saying that an emotional thinker is better than a logical thinker or vice versa it’s just saying that we all could be more conscious of how we are feeling, acting, and doing.
I am grateful for my emotional ways because I can relate to so many people and empathize. But I at one point couldn’t see past my emotions and would let them consume me. Acting out in ways that didn’t feel good or in a way that wouldn't get my point of view across in a digestible way. Creating more frustration and resentments. So really just not a productive use of my emotions. Until I finally learned to feel my feelings before reacting. This started with me asking myself:
“How am I actually feeling right now?”
“Is there more to the emotion then what I am showing or seeing?”
“Is this really how I feel?”
“Why am I feeling this way?”
“Is there something I could do to better the situation?”
“Are these thoughts facts?”
“What triggered these feelings to arise?”
“Who am I with when these feelings keep coming up?”
“Is this a reoccurring pattern?”
"Is there may be a more logical approach to this situation?"
“Do I truly want to feel this way?”
After taking a bit more of a logical approach with my feelings I have been able to calm my nervous system and be less reactive. So rather than not wanting to accept that logical side because it didn’t come to me as naturally, I chose to learn more about it and discovered I too had that in me. Creating more balance.
The same can be said for the logical thinker; asking questions to get to the root of your emotions to actually uncover your true feelings.
"Do I have to problem solve right now?"
"Am I being honest with how I really feel?"
"Do I feel safe to feel my emotions?"
"What do I feel like right now?"
"Why does someone else's emotions bother me?"
"Did I learn from someone else to push down my emotions?"
"What would be the worst thing that could happen if I did feel my emotions?"
"Am I scared of not being accepted?"
"Have I been misunderstood in the past?"
"Do I truly want to stay in the logic?"
Taking the time to dive into these questions so you can live a life of understanding. In a way of not feeling like you're in fix-it mode all the time or problem-solving mode. Your able to just let it be and see beauty in the feelings. Allowing yourselves to connect with others on a deeper level.
These are all things we can learn.
We all just want to be loved and understood. But maybe we really just need to learn to love and understand ourselves. Emotions and logic beautifully coexisting.
We are both; it's just finding that balance.
I truly hope you choose to discover your balance.
If you're seeking more guidance on this topic reiki is also a great tool to create more balance in your life.
Disclosure: I am not a certified therapist or counselor. These are tools and tricks that have helped me on my journey. Even though they have helped me on my journey doesn't mean they are guaranteed to help you on yours. If doing these activities activate strong emotions or bring up trauma that you're unable to deal with on your own, please reach out to a professional for help. I am truly wanting nothing but kind, light, loving energy for you so you can function in life feeling your best.